Begining

2008-03-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

The last few seconds of 2007, a whole lot of memories were running through my mind.Sure as hell was gona miss my primary school,Chung Hua No.3.

Six years really went by to fast. I never felt ready to move on just yet. But then a wise person told me :"When one door closes, a new one opens." Walking through a new door and trying hard not to turn back to the old one just to watch it fade away.. wasn't as easy as i thought it would be.

But i had no idea what 2008 had in store for me.

New year.New school. New people. New teachers. Never gonna be that easy. And every brand new day as i open my eyes to another morning of 2008 and remind myself " Ok..it's a brand new day.. Anything could happen.." As i say a prayer so that God can help me make the best of a new day.

I didn't expect my first few weeks in a new school to be amazing, didn't even need it to be good, just OKAY. But it wasn't even ok. It was retardedly miserable. I made the wrong first friend.

And a whole lot of other crap started happening.2008 started pretty stressful, i kept reminding myself " There has to be some rain before you can see a rainbow."
and " If God brings me to it, He'll bring me through it."

And God never failed to hold on to my hand and listen to my cries. He gave me strength so i could carry on with life no matter how crappy and pathetic it became, cuz i that's probably what He wanted me to do.

There's still so much ahead in life, have you ever wondered what's the reason God put you on this earth? I havn't really figured it out yet. 12 years,2 months and 12 days seems longer that it really is. Life is once in an eternity, everyday, every hour and every second of our lives should be made precious. Why waste something that you can never buy back?

"What hurts the most"

2008-03-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again i pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

"Why not??" "I can't.." "Just do it!" "I'm not gonna.." "Come on!!" "Please la.." "You'll never know till' you try!!" "I just...CAN'T! OK?" "Ok then let me do it for you." "No. He is not gona find out how i feel..."

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what i was trying to do

"Standing here and watching you walk away, Longing for the courage to tell you how i feel, And i don't wana go home right now, Cuz a day will feel like forever When you're not here beside me..."

It's hard to deal with the pain of loosing you everywhere i go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I"m alone
Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if i could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that i saved in my heart
THAT I LEFT UNSPOKEN
"Your voice That melts my heart like snow approaching spring Your perfect eyes That blinds my soul from everything But you.. And I'm missing you like a tree misses the warmth in winter time But can a tree tell winter to stop?"

And what hurts the most
Was being so close
AND HAVING SO MICH TO SAY
And watching you WALK AWAY
WITHOUT KNOWING
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
AND NOT SEEING THAT LOVING YOU
IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO.....

"Do you have need him enough to have him? Do you have him enough to miss him? Do you miss him enough to love him? Do you love him enough to tell him...? ...And hoping that our hearts will not become like parallel lines: No matter how far they go.. They shall NEVER meet..."

Like a fallen leaf..

Begining

"What hurts the most"